There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
