I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
