I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
