let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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