Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize