y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
