he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
