Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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