Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
