also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize