i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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