woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
