i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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