Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
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I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
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And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.