Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him