Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury http://tfl.nu/f86j
  Replies (13) Good night (908) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So you're taking me there this weekend?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu (781): So you're taking me there this weekend? (508): oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food. http://tfl.nu/y6ju
  Replies (35) Good night (7532) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Could a canary swim?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Last time I ever let you pet sit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Could a canary swim? (952): Last time I ever let you pet sit. http://tfl.nu/tcs0
  Replies (10) Good night (687) Bad night (3202)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly. http://tfl.nu/a7gl
  Replies (10) Good night (3549) Bad night (1370)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band. http://tfl.nu/kt6h
  Replies (3) Good night (2562) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I think there was chlamydia in those woods.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): I think there was chlamydia in those woods. http://tfl.nu/fxcg
  Replies (5) Good night (647) Bad night (2260)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point. http://tfl.nu/mbzv
  Replies (10) Good night (2088) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me. http://tfl.nu/0mf7
  Replies (6) Good night (1601) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know? http://tfl.nu/qpy1
  Replies (10) Good night (1790) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type. http://tfl.nu/lvgz
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have a surprise for you guys

  (937): View more from Ohio

  What is it?

  (740): View more from Ohio

  A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): I have a surprise for you guys (937): What is it? (740): A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS http://tfl.nu/bt31
  Replies (21) Good night (3973) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.

  (415): View more from California

  Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given. (415): Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes? http://tfl.nu/8d8c
  Replies (4) Good night (947) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times http://tfl.nu/9yzl
  Replies (7) Good night (716) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month... http://tfl.nu/b4al
  Replies (0) Good night (270) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one

  (602): View more from Arizona

  When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one (602): When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them http://tfl.nu/1rtq
  Replies (0) Good night (634) Bad night (307)

Randomize