Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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