My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
