He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
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Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
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Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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