I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
