i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
