drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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