Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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