i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
