He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
