you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
