everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
