the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
