After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
