I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
try to milk me bitch
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