I hate your face
we have officially lost it.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
