if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
