Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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