I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
