Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
