I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
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We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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