can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize