Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
