Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
