I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
