I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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