Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
