grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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