If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
