Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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