Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
