Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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