i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
