Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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