I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
