it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
