I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?