I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
