I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.