Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.