dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
