Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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